The First Sorrowful Mystery
What does a society do when it has devalued children, gated their communities, disparaged "breeders," and slaughtered the unwanted?
Ans: Pretend pregnancy.
The Second Risible Mystery
Is Star Wars actually a deeply hidden allegory for niche neep? Exspecto quod animadverto!
The Third Logical Mystery
When is a confirmation of the multiverse theory not a confirmation of the multiverse theory? Pretty much anytime, but in particular here.
The Fourth Statistical Mystery
When is correlation not causation? Bzz! Trick question. Correlation is never causation, though TOF wishes the New Breed of scientist would ponder this more closely. Some examples, h/t to Alert Commenter Aaron.