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A beautifully told story with colorful characters out of epic tradition, a tight and complex plot, and solid pacing. -- Booklist, starred review of On the Razor's Edge

Great writing, vivid scenarios, and thoughtful commentary ... the stories will linger after the last page is turned. -- Publisher's Weekly, on Captive Dreams

Saturday, June 29, 2013

ROFLOL

The following jokes appeared in Slate magazine.

They are supposed to be "intellectual," but most simply rely on specialized knowledge.
  1. From user guitartard: “Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?”
  2. From user phattmatt: “Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French cafe, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness. He says to the waitress, "I'd like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream." The waitress replies, "I'm sorry, Monsieur, but we're out of cream. How about with no milk?”
  3. From user shannman: “Who does Polyphemus hate more than Odysseus? Nobody!”
  4. From user doomwaxer: “Did you hear about the jurisprudence fetishist? He got off on technicality.”
  5. From user android47: “A programmer's wife tells him: ‘Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.’ The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.”
  6. From user Arcadian 5656: “A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5ft to the left, the chemist takes a shot and misses 5ft to the right, and the statistician yells, ‘We got ‘im!’ ”
  7. From user suid: “So this classics professor goes to a tailor to get his pants mended. The tailor asks, ‘Euripedes?’ The professor replies, ‘Yes. Eumenides?’ ”
  8. From user DrColdReality: “Two women walk into a bar and talk about the Bechdel test
  9. From user Saboot: “Werner Heisenberg, Kurt Gödel, and Noam Chomsky walk into a bar. Heisenberg turns to the other two and says, ‘Clearly this is a joke, but how can we figure out if it's funny or not?’ Gödel replies, ‘We can't know that because we're inside the joke.’ Chomsky says, ‘Of course it's funny. You're just telling it wrong.’ ”
  10. From user disposableaccountass: “Pavlov is sitting at a pub enjoying a pint, the phone rings and he jumps up shouting, ‘Oh shit, I forgot to feed the dog!’ ”
  11. From user Watch_Closely: “It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.”
I have told #6 in stat training class, but without the biologist and chemist, whose presence in the joke violates parsimony.  Also #5 in different contexts.  

7 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. My favorite from the original Reddit thread was 3 logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks "Do all of you want a drink?"
    The first logician says "I don't know."
    The second logician says "I don't know."
    The third logician says "Yes!"

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  3. Three engineers are driving along in the car when it stops.

    The chemical engineer says, "There must be something wrong with gas."

    The mechanical engineer says, "There must be something wrong with the motor."

    The computer engineer says, "Let's just close all the windows and try to restart it."

    ReplyDelete
  4. I don't understand No. 11 but I'm going to steal it anyway

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    Replies
    1. A kleptomaniac is someone who - literally - takes things.

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    2. Methinks the previous was writ satirick.

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