Saturday, March 29, 2014

Miracle on Folk Street

This morning in a mood of bullet-biting, TOF decided to forage for a new laptop. So he went to the kitchen table where he had placed his old deceased laptop with the thought of measuring its screen size.

He had retrieved the body from the Geek Squad mortuary, where they had cried three times "Lazarus come forth!" -- once with power+battery, once with power/no battery, and once with battery only -- but the machine remained alas unresponsive and would not "boot up" (in the colorful jargon of computer mavens). Such pity did overwhelm the Geeks that they refunded TOF's unrefundable give-it-a-try fee on the basis that they could not do jack and therefore deserved no jack. (O! Would that more vendors took similar attitudes.) 

"Let us go forth among the gentiles," said the Incomparable Marge, "and find a replacement for Faithful Companion!"

And so TOF approached the corpse with a yardstick to measure its screen. (Well, the yardstick was handy. What can I say.)  He flipped open the lid, measured the urim and thummin and the diagonal, turned away for a moment. Then he looked back and saw to his amazement, the device was booting itself. No buttons had been pressed. No one had cried "Erwache!" But there were the lines of DOS chiding all and sundry that the computer had previously been shut down in irregular wise. TOF agreed that spilling water thereon was indeed irregular. Then, Lo!, Starting Windows appeared and soon thereafter, the Desktop, apparently none the worse for wear.

Sore amazed, TOF stuck his fingers in the holes. Files were opened, intertubes accessed, functions tested. All appeared well. This is apparently a direct intervention by St. Isidore of Seville, patron saint of computers, and would surely qualify the dude for canonization were he not already among the ranks of the Elect. TOF sends a hearty, "Thanks, Izzy!" for his timely intervention. 

Faithful Companion is now to be renamed LAZARUS.
Flynn and friend in palmier days,
with a laptop on, of all places, his lap.



12 comments:

  1. I share your joy, but if that sort of thing ever happens again, you should find a tech who will at least try to salvage the contents of the hard drive. This is not at all hard for an Initiate of the appropriate Order: All You Have To Do Is Just take the machine apart, unplug the hard drive from the socket into which it is plugged, and plug it instead into the proper gizmo, attached to another machine.

    And also: make sure you have backups of everything of value on the hard drive anyway, because sometimes the machine doesn't die, it ... goes walkabout?

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  2. And also: make sure you have backups of everything of value on the hard drive, because that point is so important, I thought you should have a backup of it.

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  3. I still wouldn't trust it. For example just because that strange rattle in the car stops making the rattling sound doesn't mean there's not an issue.Just sayin. Your Brother, Padraig

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  4. O frabjous day!

    (She scurries off to back up some data on her computer.)

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  5. Mirabile dictu!

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  6. BACKUP BACKUP BACKUP BACKUP YOUR FILES :)

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  7. I had no idea there was a patron saint of the internet.
    Sometimes you miss out on some cool stuff being Lutheran.

    Glad your computer is back up!

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  8. only reason--it was and is on folk street

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  9. Congratulations on your fortuitous event.

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  10. Time heals all wounds that are capable of evaporating.

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  11. When you stick your fingers in the holes, the normal protocol is to look up to heaven, sigh, and say, "Ephphatha". However, in this case it would appear that, given you status as a newbie faith healer, St. Izzy did the heavy lifting.

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  12. This reminded me of the wonderful passage of the discovery of FALLOUT SHELTER in A Canticle for Leibowitz. Yes, it did! I mean this as a heady compliment.

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