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Monday, February 4, 2013

Headline of the Day

Unexpected Proof of Teleology in Saltationist Evolution

"Report: Hornets Plan to Become Pelicans"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 23

4 comments:

  1. Nyuk.

    In related news that is oddly connected to previous discussions here: in defense of the Hornets choosing to rename themselves the Pelicans, creatures who do not enjoy the sort of aggressive reputation mascots such as Timberwolves, Warriors, Celts and, evidently, Lakers and Pacers (whatever they are) enjoy, people posted numerous YouTube videos of pelicans behaving horribly to prove that, no, pelicans are just as nasty as Bobcats and Clippers(?). From this video evidence, we learn:

    - small flocks of pelicans will descend upon huge flocks of nesting seabirds - and devour their (shocking large) young, who thrash about in that pouch while being swallowed whole;
    - cats should keep their distance if they know what's good for them;
    - and, like certain ambitious catfish, pelicans will insouciantly eat pigeons. What's more, pelicans will wander over where people are feeding birds - the more typical ducks, geese and pigeons - and feign interest in breadcrumbs, until a pigeon wanders too close, then - snap! - to heck with breadcrumbs!

    So, we are evidently to assume that the renamed Pelicans will, unlike the more straight-forwardly nasty Hornets, be one sneaky, remorseless team.

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    Replies
    1. A "Pacer" is a horse that races with a distinctive gait. The Indiana State Fair has had Harness Racing, featuring Pacers, for a Very Long Time - in terms of Hoosier culture. Hence the "Indiana Pacers" basketball team were named after this distinctive sport.

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  2. Reminds me of H.G. Wells puzzling over the headline "Colts Maul Rams" in the neglected time travel classic "Time After Time".

    ReplyDelete
  3. What about the pelican in her piety? Intelligent design?
    http://www.pelican-in-her-piety.co.uk/pelican.php

    ReplyDelete

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