Scrivening 5: Embodiment

Body-building

 “Yes, she's bleeding to death upstairs, but I thought I'd avoid telling you right away, because I like to draw the suspense out.”

 – Cassandra Clare, City of Fallen Angels

The Valley of the Foreshadow

At the end of the Beginning, we carried the Reader's Interest over into the Body of the Story, shifting the focus from arousing curiosity about the Story Problem to maintaining suspense regarding its Resolution. We generated this interest by promising  a difficulty, a disaster, or an encounter with opposing forces. Do not now delay that encounter!

The Chief Actor will be confronted with one or more obstacles preventing resolution, and with some aiding or assisting it. These Forces need not alternate as in the graphic, and they need not end in success (Comedy). The Chief Actor may be defeated (Tragedy.) These Forces may be major or minor, and their arrangement comprises the Plot.

A Story is a series of meetings arranged for dramatic effect. This arrangement may be 

• Chronological (most common)
  
• Chronological with Flashbacks
• Chronological with Cross-cuts
• Parallel sequences
• Cyclic
  
• Reverse sequence

 or any of a vast and various multitude. "There are nine and sixty ways," Mr Kipling told us, "of constructing tribal lays and every single one of them is right!" However, if you are a beginner, do not jump into the deep end of the pool right away. Experimental fiction is fine, but most experiments end in failure.

The story "Nexus" (Flynn) follows six characters on six separate tracks, each pursuing his or her (or its) own Problem as they gradually cross paths and become entangled in each other's issues. The movie The Red Violin circles around repeatedly to the scene in the auction hall as it tells successive stories across the centuries. Heller's Catch-22 likewise cycles back to the scene in the bomber. Memento famously tells its story in reverse order. H.N.Turtletaub's Justinian, cuts back and forth between the interrogation of blind soldier Myakes and the story he is telling about Justinian II.
Brunner's The Shockwave Rider does something similar. 

There is more scope for experimentation in the longer forms than in short stories.

There are three sorts of Meetings:

1. Incident: a single act of a single force
2. Episode: a meeting of two forces without clash
3. Encounter: a meeting of two forces with clash

1. Incidents are the simplest kind of meeting, and as such do not usually evoke interest. For example: 

"As soon as he spied the policeman Henry tiptoed across the street."

In this incident, provided by Gallishaw,

• The Force is Henry
• The Stimulus is the sight of the policeman
• The Act is tiptoeing across the street

Incidents are useful for separating bigger scenes, getting the Actor from point A to point B, and things like that. Incidents are more often told rather than shown, so we try to keep them brief. An incident like  

"Adam fought the rush hour crowds and took the A-train uptown"

does not need to explain what a subway train is or address every station the train passes. A simple summary statement suffices. (In an SF story, something may be required to explain e.g., Krasnikov Tubes.) Sometimes a writer falls into the steam of consciousness trap and the reader is dunked into every little thing that happens to the POV character. But you only need meetings when they advance or impede the Story Purpose. This is especially true in Stories, where word count is precious and must be hoarded as a dragon hoards his gold. In Novels, there is greater room for color commentary and, often, multiple Chief Actors with differing (even clashing!) Story Purposes.

 

2. Episodic Scene. In an episodic scene, two forces meet but do not clash. For example,

As soon as he spied the policeman Henry tiptoed across the street, and coming up behind the officer, tapped him lightly on the shoulder. ‘I’m going up the street for about two minutes. Keep your eye on the door of that garage, and if anyone comes out, blow your whistle.’ The policeman nodded. ‘Don’t be long. There may be something doing any minute now.’

-- Gallishaw

• Force 1: Henry 
• Force 2: the policeman

There is no clash here. The scene neither helps nor hinders Henry's Story Purpose, but such episodes may help develop Settings or Characterization. 

3. Encounters are full-monty Dramatic Scenes. The forces meet and clash. These are the meat and potatoes of the Plot.

At the sight of Henry, the policeman stiffened, his hand reaching instinctively for his revolver. 

‘Don’t get excited,’ said Henry. ‘I’m just going up the street for a minute.’ 

The policeman gazed at him coldly. ‘That, you are not. Nobody leaves this alley before the Chief gets here.'

‘That doesn’t include reporters, does it?’

‘Think not?’ The policeman continued to regard Henry without smiling.

It wasn’t worth it, Henry decided, and retreated back into the shadows. 

(Gallishaw)

Here, we have a clash. Henry's purpose is to get up the street and the policeman's purpose is to keep everyone in the alley until the Chief arrives. In this scene, the Opposing Force (policeman) impedes the Chief Actor's story purpose. In other instances, the 'second Force' may assist the Chief Actor. 

The clash may come between two Actors or between the Actor and the Environment. In the following scene, evening approaching, Cindy is looking for a campground to spend the night.

Cindy exited the tree-shrouded trail to find herself facing a paved road. To the right, the road skipped over the creek on a brief concrete bridge to join the state highway. To the left, it curved north and out of sight. It didn’t look like there would be much in the way of accommodations either way. The fleshpots of Xanadu might be just around that bend, but she harbored doubts.

That left the big stone-and-wood building directly across the road. A large board sign above the entrance proclaimed it the Tatamy Book Barn: Old and Used Books. In the parking lot, three cars and a pick-up truck, also old and used, suggested that the building remained open.

God dumped a truckload of scrap metal on the sky, which turned bright brass for an instant, and that made up her mind. Cindy hitched up her backpack and strode confidently toward the entrance – just as the heavens let loose.

Stride became run, but she was drenched before she reached the door. She ducked through and backed against it, as if the tempest would try to force its way after her. The woman behind the counter looked up at this sodden eruption, took in Cindy and her appearance, and cocked a sardonic smile. “Come in,” she said, “I’ll give you shelter from the storm.

-- Flynn, "Moonrise Over Tatamy"

Here, the First Force is Cindy, and her Scene Purpose is to find a place where she can camp for the night. the Second Force is not the book store owner, but  the Storm, which impeded her Purpose and is going to force her to spend the night in the Book Barn.

Gallishaw's Eighth Law of Interest

A Clash of opposing forces is the chief method of holding interest during the Body. The Outcomes of these Encounters foment Crises in the Chief Actor’s efforts to solve either the immediate Scene Problem or the ultimate Main Story Problem.

Eternity Road (McDevitt) is set 1700 years after a plague has wiped out most of humanity. The Chief Actor is Chaka and her Main Story Purpose is to learn what happened to her brother, who never returned from an expedition in search of the legendary "Haven," a supposed repository of ancient lore of the Roadmakers. She decides to mount a second expedition. But since the first expedition was a failure, her initial obstacle is to convince anyone to accompany her. Some refuse, most are reluctant; but she finally persuades enough that she sets out with a team.

This does not resolve the Main Story Problem, which remains in suspense. At this point, she has neither found Haven nor learned her brother's fate. Assembling a Team was only the first obstacle on her quest.

Five Steps of a Scene

A Scene is a miniature Story and has its own Scene Purpose distinct from the Story Purpose. It may be subordinate to the Story Purpose, as Gathering a Team in Chaka's case was to Learning Her Brother's Fate. But in larger works, a Scene Purpose may be independent. 

A Scene has a five step structure:

1. Bring Actor and Opponent together 
2. Show the Purpose of One
   
3. Show the Interchange
4. Show the Conclusive Act
   
5. Describe the Effect

Step 5 might be done as a separate episodic scene. The Effect is typically whether the Main Story Purpose has been hindered or assisted. In Eternity Road, we find the following scene after the funeral of Karik, the leader [and sole survivor] of the first expedition, who has committed suicide after his return.

1. Bring Actor and Opposition together 
•  After the funeral, Karik’s son Flojian asks Chaka to stay behind.
2. Show the Purpose of One
•  Flojian means to pass on a legacy his father left for Chaka
• Who, me? Yes, you.
  
3. Show the Interchange
•  Flojian gives her a copy of Connecticut Yankee.
•  Chaka refuses. The ancient manuscript is much too valuable.
  
4. Show the Conclusive Act
• Flojian insists she take it. "It's in Father's will." 
• She accedes.
  
5. Describe the Effect
• Both Flojian and Raney [Chaka's suitor] think she should sell the book and use the money to expand her business; but she refuses. In a series of follow-on episodes, curiosity grows over where Karik had found such a rare folio.
  

Plot

Plotting is the selection and arrangement of Crises, leading up to the Resolution of the Main Story Problem. That is, Plot is the arrangement of the Fifth Steps. If you outline, focus on these. Don't worry about Incidents and Episodes. You can fill those in as you go. Nor need you worry too much over steps 1-4. Just get the Crises. You'll probably change your outline anyway. (If you make one at all. Sometimes, the outline is called the "First Draft.")

In Novels, the gaps between Encounters may be used to flesh out a Setting or a Character. For example, if Adam Apple takes the A-train from Harlem to Midtown, you may set an Episode in the departure or arrival stations so as to create an Atmosphere, or to explore a Character trait. In a Story, you will want to be more economical. 

In the following Episode, the harper and the scarred man have come to the great domed Inbound Station orbiting the planet Harpaloon, a major emigration port,

Above their heads, but below the springline of the dome, stretched the famed Harpaloon Murals, painted fifty years before by Hendrik Pak Gbọnju.  Bold, broad, bigger than life, they portrayed the great migrations of the mythic past.  Thick-hewn men and resolute women moved west in ox-drawn “prairie schooners,” Cossacks trudged east through S’birski snows, Zhõgwó families creaked in great two-wheeled carts up the Gansu Corridor, Magreebees homesteaded in the decaying suburbs of Yurp.  Across the banks of the Great Fish River, Four-trekkers heading north greeted Mantu cattlemen heading south.  Here too, legendary figures posed: Jacinta Rosario peered across the rusty sands of Mars; Yang huang-ti pointed dramatically to the lichen-covered plains of Dao Chetty; Chettiwan Mahadevan, hands a-hip, stared at the crumpled ruins of the first-found prehuman city on New Mumbai. 

It was all very improbably epic, the harper thought while standing on line for Inbound Customs.  Gbọnju’s imagination had wrestled with history and had pinned history defeated to the mat. 

-- Up Jim River (Flynn)

The purpose of this Incident is to provide an Atmosphere or Setting characterizing Harpaloon. A Story would have scant room in it for details like the muralist's name or details of the depictions.

Suspension in Dialogue

“What should we do, Alan?” she asked.
“What we should do is...,” he said.

Do not resolve plot issues as soon as they are raised. Leave issues in doubt for at least a short while.  

“What should we do, Alan?” she asked.
Alan would not look at her. He picked up a book and put it down again. “I heard from Kovacs this morning.”
“What has that got to do with…?”
“He sounded worried.” Alan drifted to the window and lifted the blind a little bit from the side. The street below was deserted. Or seemed to be.
“I think what we should do is...,” he said…

“Not Enough Story Interest”

 When an Editor (or Reader) says that there is not enough "Story Interest" in your Story, she usually means in your Plotting or your Presentation.

As regards Plotting, it means:

• Too few Fifth Step Crises to keep reader in suspense regarding the Resolution
• Not enough Encounters to provide a sense of conflict

As regards Presentation, it means:

• Not enough Clash in the meetings you did select
• Incidents and Episodes in between Fifth Step Crises are not sufficiently interesting to carry reader to the next Fifth Step Crisis

The Pivot

One way to maintain Suspension is the Reversal. At some Crisis point, the Chief Actor decides that his original goal is no longer relevant and he pivots to another. In order to achieve his Goal of forcing Agamemnon to return his rightful booty, Achilles stages a sit-down strike. But then his lover, Patroclus, gets himself killed, and Achilles drops his grievance against Agamemnon and pivots to the Goal of avenging Patroclus. 

In Heinlein's YA book, Tunnel in the Sky, a rebuttal to Lord of the Flies, Rod's goal of finding a safer and more defensible location for the refugee settlement is reversed after the Crisis caused by the dry season animal migration, and he is now determined to stand fast.

Not every Story or Novel benefits from a Pivot, but sometimes the Chief Actor achieves or nearly achieves his Goal, only to decide/realize that it isn't worth it. This is actually an extreme way of Suspending the Resolution of the Story Problem or Decision, essentially by moving the goal post.

The Conclusion

[SPOILERS ALERT]

But sooner or later, Resolution must come, evoking in the Reader the third kind of Interest; viz., Satisfaction. The Reader finishes the Story with the the feeling that "Yes, that was exactly the way it should have ended." The Critical Act is taken; the Final Decision is made. The Main Actor achieves his Goal -- or not. 

In the end, Winston Smith loves Big Brother; Rod Walker and his companions master the hostile environment; the harper finds her mother (or not). Regardless, the Reader closes the book, or turns the last page of the story, feeling satisfied. Not necessarily happy, understand - he may have been rooting for Winston Smith, not the boot grinding the human face forever -- but given the events of the tale, there was no other way it could have ended.

One way to conclude the tale is with the Unexpected Act.

The satirical musical Urinetown (Kotis/Hollman) describes a rebellion by the poor against the "Urine Good" Company, which charges exorbitant fees for the drought-stricken inhabitants to pee at the rigidly-controlled Amenities. But after the revolution succeeds, and people can urinate for free as many times as they want, the ground water is quickly used up by flushing and people begin dying of thirst. UGC, as oppressive as it was, really did manage the water supply. Kotis & Hollman exploited modern expectations (Rebels good; corporations bad) and adroitly flipped things around. But the Surprise Ending, made popular by O. Henry, has been overdone and the reader is now surprised when there is no surprise.

Another satisfactory conclusion is the Symbolic Act.

In "Dayspring Mishandled" (Kipling), "a dark story of hatred, and long matured plans for revenge," the story ends at Castorley's funeral with Manallace taking out a pair of gloves. 

There, then, Manallace and I met. He told me that she had asked him whether the book need now be published; and he had told her this was more than ever necessary, in her interests as well as Castorley’s.

‘She is going to be known as his widow—for a while, at any rate. Did I perjure myself much with him?’

‘Not explicitly,’ I answered.

‘Well, I have now—with her—explicitly,’ said he, and took out his black gloves. . . .

As, on the appointed words, the coffin crawled sideways through the noiselessly-closing doorflaps, I saw Lady Castorley’s eyes turn towards Gleeag.

-- "Dayspring Mishandled" (Kipling)

Now, men commonly did wear kidskin gloves in those days, so the act is in one sense unremarkable; but the act is also symbolic: the opposite of "taking the gloves off." Manallace has abandoned his plans for revenge on Castorley and he will now handle the matter with kid gloves. 

In William Trevor's "The General's Day," the elderly Gen. Suffolk is shown "contentiously greeting his housekeeper Mrs. Hinch; walking to the village cafe and talking to his friend Basil; trying to recruit another elderly friend from his house for day-drinking; day-drinking by himself and then with a woman he meets; sexually harassing her and driving her away; drinking more at night; getting into a screaming fight with his elderly friend upon a second visit to said friend’s house; stopping at Mrs. Hinch’s house blind-drunk and being helped home by the lady (who steals money from his wallet)." In the story’s final scene, General Suffolk, “the hero of Roeux and Monchy-le-Preux,” is shown leaning and weeping on his cleaning woman’s fat arm as she laughingly helps him back to his cottage. “My God Almighty,” he mutters, “I could live for twenty years.”

That last line is a killer. 

A final example of a Conclusion is from "The Steel Driver" (Flynn). Reuben Judge had been sent by the Babbage Society to evaluate the new Ingersoll steam drill in use and has taken a job as a holder for the steel drivers in the B&O cut. Not planning to be undercover for long, he tries to stay aloof from the other frillers and holders, until one of the drillers, John Henry, kills himself trying to beat the steel drill in a series of contests. They have just taken Henry's body out.

Ben's eyes burned.  He took hold of Henry's hammer.  The handle was smooth from the tallow, the head still warm from the kinetic energy.  He ran his hands up and down the handle.
Then he stood and, before he even knew what he was doing, he began driving on Henry's stake.  The steel rang and Ben heard gasps from the tunnel, and running feet.  Then there was nothing but the hammer, and the steel.  He swung with all his might, feeling the spike sink into the rock like it was butter.  He recovered and struck again.  And again.  And again.
The tears came now, blending in with the sweat that poured off his brow.  The tunnel rang with the echoes of his strokes and Henry's laughing bass was mixed in with them somehow.  He breathed in sobs, in time to his hammer.  The feeling of indescribable power was on him as the mountain gave way to his will.  He was exalted and grinned in a fearsome rictus.
Then strong hands took hold of him, and the hammer was taken from his grasp, and he was half-carried, half-led, still weeping, up the tunnel toward the day.

(Analog, Jun 1988)

It is an Episodic scene giving significance to the earlier Encounter of John Henry with the steam drill. Once again, we have a symbolic act. Ben has failed in his effort to hold himself aloof, and his impulsive act has placed himself firmly with Henry and the others.